How to Win When you Lose with Grace

Let’s talk about how to turn the big L WORD into a WIN. LOSE, Lost.

My son Jayden had his first basketball game and they lost. I just knew the 7-minute ride home would be miserable without a win.

As Jayden’s game took a turn for the inevitable, I whispered to my husbaned, “we should have driven separately”.

I could not stomach seeing my son upset or disappointed about the loss. You see, my son is a perfectionist and is very competitive. He hates to lose. If he sees a loss coming, he will quit or try to change the rules to suit his win… cheat. So I just knew the drive home would be full of sadness, uncomfortable silence, and defeat.

After the game, My husband took the baby to the car and I stayed inside and waited for my son. I needed to assess the situation. I needed to provide comfort even if it had to be silence and just being there to listen.

To my surprise, My son was walking with a huge smile on his face. I said, “Good Job, you will win next time”. He said, “Yeah, We always lose the first time, I know we will win the rest of the games”.

See, that level optimism is what we all should have.

At the age of eleven, he knows that it is okay to lose the first one. All things considered, he did not say; I quit, we suck, we will never win, we are losers.

He did not allow self-doubt or self-defeating thoughts to enter his mind. He was already looking forward to his next chance at success. This is what I call a Win, he lost with Grace and was planning the biggest win of all time.

We shound all have that type of optimism, to lose gracefully, because we know that the next time, we will win.

How many things could we accomplish by having this attitude?

In the past, I avoided a lot of opportunities because I hadn’t grasped the concept that it’s ok to lose the first one. I didn’t want to fail. The thought of failure or rejection is quite frankly, scary.

There are so many successful people throughout history who failed several times before their BIG win.

To name a few:
Walt Disney was fired because he lacked imagination and good ideas.
Oprah Winfrey was fired because she was “unfit for tv”.
Where would we be without Dr. Seuss? Dr. Seuss was rejected by 27 publishers.
Stephen King’s first novel was rejected 30 times.
Abraham Lincoln had several failed businesses.
Of Course, The list is endless. We know that they did not let a loss stop them from achieving big WINS.

How many times have you not attempted something because you thought you would fail?

I get it now; I didn’t get it then. That life is about losing and about doing it as gracefully as possible… and enjoying everything in between.

Mia Farrow


Add Yours
  1. 11
    Missy Burson

    I have heard a lot about how in kids sports these days, even the losing team gets ribbons or trophies. I think it’s important to teach our kids they don’t always win, but there is a lesson in every loss. Great post!

  2. 18
    Elizabeth O.

    I love this. It’s a reminder that a little positivity can go a long way. It’s all about how we look at a loss and turn it into something that we can use in the future.

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